Okay so you may love your family very much but being locked up with them 24/7? For even the best of us this can be challenging. It might be a good idea to lose the word lockdown from your vocabulary. This very word sends the message that we have no choice which can escalate stress and anxiety levels. How about changing the word to something like staying in? See how your body immediately changes how it is feeling.
If you are with children it is really important to agree with your partner on how to discipline the children so that boundaries are clearly in place. How can you expect your children to get along and respect the boundaries if you are arguing with your spouse? How siblings get along is affected by the parenting styles they experience. Agree rules with grandparents if they are also living with you so everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet.
We are basically learning as we go along so lower your expectations of yourself. Be prepared to let go of things on your to do list that do not really matter at the moment. It might happen that you blow at your spouse over something, or you are not the perfect parent every minute of the day, or you stress about your children arguing. Forgive yourself. It is common to say something when we are tired and frustrated that we may not ordinarily say. On the other hand give yourself a pat on the back for the things you do that are great.
Remember who you are talking to and talk to them on a level they understand. If you are talking to a grandparent then recognise that their knowledge of the internet and technology may need more patience than if you were talking to your teenager. Do not get cross and angry when you have to explain yourself more than once.
Good communication is important. Listen to what you are being told or shown. Do not interrupt people when they are talking to you. Reflect back what you have heard so the other person knows you are really listening and understanding them. Ask good questions and really listen to the answers. Avoid giving your opinion and becoming critical and judgemental.
It might be a good idea to have a place in the house where someone can have time out. If you are not lucky enough to have your own rooms it might be a good idea to create a quiet corner somewhere with a do not disturb sign or something similar.
Do not gang up on one person. If everyone else agrees on something and one person does not do not make that one person feel alienated. Having a different opinion is fine and it can also be healthy to disagree. Just do not use everyone else in the house to agree that the one person is wrong. Differences of opinion are fine.
Conflict will happen but do not hold it against the person. Start each day a fresh and try not to hold grudges. Recognise that everyone is doing their best and this will affect everyone differently. Who the person was yesterday may not be who they are today. Make an agreement that each day is a new day and nobody holds grudges.
Learn how to delegate. If work needs doing in the house and you are the only one doing it, recognise that it does not matter at the moment if it is done properly or not. Everyone would benefit from chipping in. Don’t be a martyr.
Recognise that if you find yoga and meditation helpful and calming, your partner may not. Respect that others find other ways to relax their minds. The most important thing is that everyone will have their own unique wellbeing routine so enjoy yours and be respectful of others.
Finally, focus on the gifts of this situation. This is a great time to reconnect with your partner if you have gone through difficulties, to spend precious time with your children or to start writing that book you’ve always wanted to do.
It may get messy, you may end up falling out, but ultimately this is a time of bonding. You may find your family is even closer after this and if you do not, there is help out there.
Feel free to contact me through my website at any time if you wish to enquire about counselling or hypnotherapy.