A few weeks ago I did a CPD training workshop in parts therapy. You might be asking yourself what this could be so I will explain.
We are all made up of different parts, a cook, driver, parent, teacher. There is a part of us that likes to learn, or is still a child, a part of us that can be crazy or serious. Parts can be referred to as ego states but it is probably easier to call them parts.
All parts of us are there to protect us and help us cope with life. To use an example. A part of us wants to promote our business and go and give a talk but another part doesn’t want us to be seen. Both parts are trying to protect us but are in conflict with each other, this is when parts therapy can be useful.
I like to call these two parts the motivating part and the conflicting part. Another example might be that a part wants to lose weight but immediately you put the weight back on because another part of you needs the weight to protect you. By getting the two parts to communicate with each other in hypnosis they can come to an agreement to work together. If deeper work through counselling or psychotherapy needs to be done this will be highlighted here.
It is worth remembering that the conflicting part is there for your good too so we don’t want to get rid of it but rather negotiate with it.
We may not be aware we have parts, we just know we feel depressed one moment, angry the next, full of energy in an hour, and totally listless the next. Or we melt into the eyes of our loved ones, explode a moment later into rage, collapse into guilt and then sink into loneliness. We may feel we have to ignore, hide or demean aspects of ourselves.
I like to think of myself as being creative and focused but what about when I get carried away and distracted by something else? We all have parts and they are all good but if they get extreme or bossy it’s because they have been forced, through some difficult experience into extreme roles. Each in their own way tries to help and guide us. It is not their fault if one extreme part causes problems which another one has to mop up!
We don’t have to control, analyse, fear, judge, or push away our community of selves. We can ask them if they would take turns letting us understand the world’s they live in. If they live in tight little boxes, reliving unhappy events, they can feel another heart beating there with them, offering them understanding, contact, and relief.
To give you an example, I used this technique on a client only last week as my client said that a part of her was self-sabotaging her weight loss. She had done the six session hypnotherapy on weight loss and she did really well but over lockdown had piled the pounds back on. I decided to do some light hypnosis with her whilst we were on a walk and talk and when we called out the two parts of herself it turned out the part that was self-sabotaging her had been spurred on by a friend telling her that she had lost too much weight and was not looking healthy a few weeks before lockdown. This immediately reminded her of her terrible relationship with her mother and took her right back to how she was criticised as a child and she immediately wanted to please her friend and fix this. Rather than being told how well she looked she felt undervalued, criticised and her confidence took a downward spiral. She punished herself by eating far too much and the wrong foods. Just from that one session she has not only realised she needs a new friend but also that she needs some counselling sessions to work through the issues she has as a result of being the child of a critical parent. I’ve no doubt we will be incorporating some confidence hypnotherapy in with the therapy too!
To sum up, parts therapy is helpful when we need to uncover aspects of ourselves that are holding us back. We can then work through the issues that arise in a safe, confidential space which will help us to start living our lives free from those parts of ourselves that hold us back.
If any of this has resonated with you please feel free to contact me and we can discuss it in further detail. I am still working online and doing walk and talk, hoping to return to face to face in mid August.